We’ve finally pinpointed why modern parenting is so darn hard. The Mental Load. coupled with the gender inequality of that load. We’ve called it out. We’ve stomped our feet and demanded an even split. We’ve been unrelenting in our quest to squash it.
But, it doesn’t go away that easily. Even with an involved partner and a shared Google Calendar with alerts. IT. DOES. NOT. GO. AWAY. I’ve read article after article highlighting the issue but when it comes to conquering The Mental Load? Crickets.
I’ve been working hard in the background to identify, compartmentalise and systemise this impossible load. The end goal? A rinse ‘n repeat process to reduce the time, energy and brain power involved in lugging that thing around.
Identify The Mental Load
This vague ‘mental load’ term isn’t helping anyone. If anything, it’s hindering your ability to tackle it. So, let’s get to naming and shaming all of the niggles that impact your life.
Grab a pen and paper and let’s get busy. Start with every single task on your list. Note down all of it - from doctors' appointments to laundry.
Then think about what you facilitate to get that task done. The phone calls. The K-Mart drop-ins. The reminders. Once you’ve done that, note down the frequency of the task.
This table has helped me immensely so feel free to copy this format.
Are you dizzy yet? So you see it’s not just the task it’s everything that goes into facilitating that task that stretches us!
Now that you’ve named it, share it. Book a family meeting and display how, why and what you do so everyone has a solid understanding.
Compartmentalise Your Mental Load
There are endless ways you can structure your never ending list but I’m a fan of colour-coding by type.
- Kid Activities: Sports, school, parties, appointments.
- Life Admin: Appointments, bills, paperwork, renewals.
- House + Chores: Cleaning, laundry, cooking, groceries, organising.
- Social Activities: Birthdays, gifts, parties, big events, holidays.
- Work: Schedule, childcare, reminders, to-dos.
You can choose any labels/colours you wish to compartmentalise your mental load.
Systemise Your Mental Load
Create a system for your big-picture mental load process.Our Annual Wall Planneris the perfect tool to create your very own 2023 Mental Load Conquering System. Grab your Colourful Chalk Markers and plot out your to-do’s for the whole year!
Hang it somewhere central so the whole family can get involved. Take control back and delegate elements, tasks or even a WHOLE bucket.
Tick as you go and feel empowered all year-'round!
The Mental Load Unwrapped
There’s a lot that contributes to the mental load. It’s the patriarchy, capitalism and even the rise of technology at play. It’s the expectations we place on ourselves and others. It’s the loss of the ‘village’ and loneliness. It’s the impossible task of working + parenting combined.
As you can tell, it’s a passion project of mine and I’m excited to let you know my Banish The Mental Load course is launching soon! I’m covering all the big things and so many hacks including:
- Minimising: decluttering for calm
- Batching: time-saving hacks
- Automating: digital tools
- Thriving: goals and joy-chasing
- BONUS: Mindfulness to clear the brain fog
Do you want to join the VIP Waitlist for our Mental Load course, Free Mind More Time? Register your interest here!
Watch this space!